You've heard of energy vampires? You know, those interactions with people where you leave where you feel drained for no reason?
How Can I Become An Energy Generator Instead Of An Energy Vampire?
Is it something you're born with?
Is it a state of being you reach when your needs are met?
Is it how you feel after a good night's sleep?
Is it a mindset shift?
It may be all of these things.
I'm not going to trot out a bunch of trite sayings, because as a caretaker and a marketer, I know how to spot marketing fluff. AND I don't have time for that nonsense.
So, how can you take care of yourself so you don't become an energy vampire?
1. Be Vulnerable, not Passive Aggressive
This is a tough one. It's about telling people your concrete needs. EVEN if there's nothing that can be done to change them. It's about sharing more than your pain points. More than sharing the "if only YOU did this."
Vulnerability isn't just showing past pains from uncommunicated needs.
Vulnerability happens in the needs of the now. It does not live in the past. Letting needs be unmet, but carrying the cuts from small passing pains until you aggressively lash out.
That is what passive-aggressive means.
You avoid being the passive-aggressive kind of energy vampire by communicating BEFORE you're hurt. Communicating your need not just your pain.
2. Rest not Envy
I hope you're laughing. Because REST to most people means undisturbed sleep. Or someone not needing your attention, time, or care.
Instead of that kind of rest - that may be unattainable in your current life, I mean, take rest breaks. Schedule in time to dance. Or to read. Or to paint. Or to bake bread. Or have a 10 min drink via video chat with your bestie.
Something that feels like it's just for you. Something you think you can't do, because you should be doing something else for someone who needs you.
You need you.
Let me say that again.
YOU need you.
You avoid being the envious energy vampire - always jealous of other people's wins or support when you take time to meet your need to rest.
3. Hydrate & Cry
Did you drink enough water today? Is your skin under your eyes puffy or dry?
When was the last time you let yourself cry?
How often do you let out the pressure from being overwhelmed?
Does your inner voice tell you to 'pull it together' in front of everyone?
Do you have one person you can tell your troubles to? AND that you listen to theirs in return?
If you're always taking on other people's pain, worry, or stories - you have to give yourself permission to find someone who can do the same for you.
This may be a group chat with friends who don't live in your city, but who know what you're going through.
It may be a therapist session once a month (I highly recommend this).
It may be a journal or a song or a prayer.
Just as long as you have a way to let out the tears in your heart.
Hydrate.
And then cry.
Repeat as often as you need.
You avoid being a thirsty attention-seeking vampire by hydrating and crying.
Living with hATTR
There is no current cure for Amyloidosis. But in the last 9 years, there are significant advancements in NEW medications that can slow the disease down, and change the story.
We believe that living with hATTR = living with hope.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
My name is Sue Skavlem.
I'm a visual messenger – not a doctor.*
My husband has Amyloidosis. And it took me a year of googling to understand what an "adult-onset multi-system genetic disease" was.
After learning that "Amyloids have the tensile strength of steel", I came up with the "Accumulating BBs Theory."
My hope is to promote awareness of the disease, update our friends & family on our journey, and create resources other families with hATTR can use.
*Information in this article is meant to inform, but is not medically reviewed, nor should it be used to self-diagnose. Please talk with a medical doctor about free genetic testing if you or a loved one may have hereditary Amyloidosis.
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